What's your parenting style?

Parenting a small baby wasn't particularly difficult. Their needs are basic - food, nappies, sleep and lots of love. We did decide early on certain things, like breastfeeding. The rest we make up as we go along. For example, sleeping arrangements. We knew we were going to sleep with our babies in the same room, but before I had Adam we bought a cot for him, fully intending to let him sleep in his cot but next to me. But then he arrived and we discovered it was best for all of us to co-sleep in the same bed. I get more sleep, he gets more sleep, all of us get to cuddle. Then Mia arrived and we wondered how we're going to fit another baby in our (relatively) small bed. We bought another cot just in case. We thought maybe one of them will sleep in there. Or maybe not. Again we followed our hearts and intuition. Now she naps in her cot, but sleeps in the bed with us. Somehow, she fits.

As the baby(ies) grow bigger, our parenting changes to adapt. It gets trickier, doesn't it? Now they need discipline, they make specific demands, they ask questions. I find myself constantly trying to find the best way to parent. No I am not particularly consistent. I didn't find a specific parenting style and stick to it. For it's very much trial and error. Yes I made lots of errors. But that way I discovered what works and what doesn't. And what works for us today, may not work for us tomorrow.

Our (current) parenting style may not be 'acceptable' to everybody else. Let's face it, a lot of our parenting decision are not exactly conventionally 'normal'. Like exclusive breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I'm asked these questions constantly:

'tak bagi air masak ke baby tu?'

'tak campur susu botol ke?'

'muat ke katil tu semua org?'

'Aren't you afraid she's going to turn out spoiled because you wear her all the time?'

'Isn't he going to be spoiled because you get him everytime he cries?'

etc

followed by some well-meaning advice. I listen and nod, but I continue to do what I know is best for my children. I am consistent when I need to be. Hopefully it will help others question their own parenting style.

I find that the best way to parent is by watching my own kids and adapting myself to their needs. There are a lot of thing we can learn from them. Our culture dictates that the parents are always right, and must always have control. But I think parents don't always know best. It is ok to question our parenting styles, it is ok to listen to our children, it is ok to tell our child 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake'.

Am I rambling? I guess what I'm trying to say is, I am coming to terms with the fact that it is ok to follow our own intuition. When your heart is full of unconditional love, it is ok to follow it.

Mia @ 9 months

She is getting good at walking. Few steps at a time. She tends to walk more when she's crying, and then we'll clap and she'll smile proudly in between bouts of crying which looks rather funny. She's quite small for her age ( I know she looks big and chubby in photos but in real life she's actually really petite compared to other babies her age) so whenever she gets up and walk it doesn't fail to catch people by surprise. And makes me immensely proud. Not that I had anything to do with her walking, she accomplished that all by herself, but I'm a proud mommy nonetheless. My little walking miracle.

She associates Daddy with sleeptime. He has magic arms. He can put her to sleep in a few seconds.

When I talk to her, I swear I think she understands what I'm saying.

Whenever I'm taking Adam to the toilet (which she hates, because she doesn't like being left alone) even when she's playing away from us and didn't see us, the moment she heard us talking about 'peeing' and 'let's go to the toilet' she immediately start crying and quickly crawl over to me.

She loves bath time. And cries whenever I took her out of the tub.

She says 'Daddy' or Dada' or 'Didi' often, but just recently she started saying Mommy, or 'ami' - yay!

Happy 9 months birthday sweetheart. Mommy loves you.

My sister..

..is visiting! She came by herself on AirAsia. She's on holiday at the moment. Mia immediately warmed up to her. Normally she won't go near any 'stranger'. I suspect it could be because she kind of look like me.

Do you see the resemblance? Our late father used to mistake her for me and the other way around. The last time I called my brother he thought it was my sister calling him (even though she was in the house with him). So I suppose thats why Mia had no trouble trusting her right away.

We went to the park last weekend cos it was sunny. Yes I am still knitting that sweater. By now I've told everyone on blogland and my husband has bragged about his sweater to his whole family that i just must finish this sweater and it must must look good! hehe..

love this photo...

and this..oh..i just love it when they actually play together..

We took the opportunity to ask my sister to take some photograph of us too..

once upon a time, ahem..(nampak single couple tak?)

the reality! hehe...

hope my sister will have a good time here...

Another Anna Maria's voile top

I've got to admit, there hasn't been much sewing going on here lately. I've hit a bit of a sewing block, probably. Looking through some photos for inspiration I found this top I forgot to blog about, so I thought I'd put this up, get a little bit of craft injection in this blog. I made it a few weeks ago, using Anna Maria's voile again. It is possible to whip up a whole new wardrobe for oneself using her voiles? Oh yes please.

I can't get enough of it. it's so gorgeous and feels wonderful on the skin. I want to wear it, I want my girl to wear it. Usual quilting cotton makes great girls dresses but you don't necessarily want to wear it yourself.

Ok enough talking about sewing. Time to do. Anybody can give me some inspiration please?

eh why this photo? I don't know why, I love it.

The perks of having an 8 months old

At 8 months old, she can give you a smile so sweet and innocent, you want to give her the world everytime you see one.

You hold your breath for every first step*, first laugh, first word.

She has the loveliest smell. I swear, inhaling the sweet smell of a baby is valid addiction. You cannot get enough of it. Take a whiff, and all is well in the world.

She still has some of her baby fat, looking chubby and oh so cute you want to eat her up.

There is something special about little toes, I can't explain it, it just is.

When she sleeps, she looks like an angel. Curled up little fingers, little toes, little angel face. Everything so little. I can't help but want to snuggle up to all that goodness. Why people decide to have separate room for their little babies I will never understand.

You don't have to yell at her or try to discipline her or drag her to her naughty corner when she misbehaves. Even when she's being cheeky, you can't help but try to keep from smiling.

I wish they could stay little for just a tad longer. Yes, please.

*Isn't it ironic that while I'm writing the above entry about appreciating my 8-month-old, she actually took her first step, right in front of me, and yet I missed it??? Argh! that should teach me to appreciate my baby even more. My husband saw it though (lucky him!) and we quickly took the video below, as she took a few more first steps. Enjoy!

The perks of having a 3-year-old

At three years old, you can sit knitting on the bench at the playground while your child climbs a mountain of a slide 5 times his height without so much of a blink. You're confident he can find his balance instinctively and if not, he can handle a bit of a tumble better than you could.

You can sit next to him as he feed himself lunch, probably feeding you too in the process. Sometimes you can even swing a quick shower while he's snacking. He can pour himself a drink from the water jug on the table, saving you from having to get up.

Sometimes he reads himself a book, build himself a rather nice looking 'pirate boat', or clicks himself a video from the Cbeebies website.

He can clean up after himself. Oh in fact, he enjoys 'tidy up time' a whole lot more than you do.

He doesn't eat sand, or paper, or leftover food from under the table, or chokable buttons under the sewing machine.

You can have a real conversation with him. Not only will he listen, he can also respond with appropriately placed words like ' Oh I see....'

You don't have to have a heart attack every time he climbs the table or the kitchen bench or anything with remotely sharp edges. After about a million bumps and bruises in his lifetime he is now pretty savvy at threading the hazard zones.

Of course by the time you find the wisdom to appreciate all this, enter child no 2, in all her cheeky, no-regards-to-danger-whatsoever self. There is nothing like having another baby to give you the wake up call you need as to how under appreciated you firstborn is. Oy.

Adam's birthday party

We had a little party to celebrate Adam's birthday, just the 4 of us.

Here's the birthday boy, sitting on the dining table, with his birthday cake. That's also where he later climbed on, to dig into the cake by hand, enjoying its fudgy chocolatey goodness. The cake is a chocolate brownie - recipe by Annabel Karmel that i've perfected over the summer. Ok I know it's silly to have a chocolate brownie for a birthday cake (that's why it's still in the baking tray) but its yummy and he loves it.

Adam's birthday crown - pattern from 'The Creative Family'. It was really simple to make, but birthday boy absolutely refused to wear it! I should have known, he hates having anything over his head.

One of my birthday gift for Adam is this jacket. Took me about a couple weeks to make it. A really quick, awesome pattern (free too!).

I used a chunky size wooly yarn. email me if anybody would like a link to the pattern. The whole jacket is basically knit in stockinette stitch.

Another handmade gift for Adam - a pair of linen pants, with an embroidered train (of course!). I lined it with some cotton knit to make it warm enough for autumn. I might need to make more of this, because he needs elastic waist pants now - he's fully potty trained! Alhamdulillah, even when we go out, he doesn't wear his nappies anymore...

this girl probably thought it was her birthday too ;)

he really had a lot of fun...

his birthday presents...

I hope he enjoyed his birthday. At 3 years old, he is kind, considerate and very protective of his sister. He has his tantrums, and he sits on his sister too sometimes, but he always remember to apologise sincerely without being asked. His vocabulary is mainly English these days, and he amazes me everyday with new phrases and words. He knows his 'please' and 'thank you'. His creative energy is flowing, I can feel it, and I feel so lucky to be around to watch it develop.

I am so proud of you Adam. Really proud.

I love you Baby. Happy Birthday.

Why my big brother is the best big brother in the world

When I wake up from my naps, he comes and greets me lovingly - 'Mia amun! (bangun) Hi Mia..' *muahs kisses, hugs* Sometimes he brings me books and tells me 'Surprise, for you'.

One time he said 'I love you' to me out of the blue. A free I love you from him is really special. Nobody else, even Mommy or Daddy has had one. I bet they're jealous!

He is the best at making me feel better when I'm upset. If he sees me crying, he alerts Mommy immediately. He'll hug me, kiss me and tell me 'It's ok Mia...it's ok...don't cry'. Sometimes he'll sing and ask Mommy to sing along to my favourite songs. If I still won't stop crying, he'll say ' Mommy/Daddy, kung Mia' or 'Mommy, susu Mia'.

He plays all sorts of interesting games all day, it amazes me! I want to play whatever he's playing. He really tries to include me. He'll say ' Mia, come on' or 'Ok Mia masuk house there'. Ok, sometimes I ruin his train tracks or break apart his neat playhouse, and that'll make him upset, but he never takes it out on me, he'll call out to Mommy or Daddy to come pick me up. and then he'll offer me other toys for me to play with instead. Ok i'll behave myself next time ;)

Sometimes I sleep in my cot, but I don't like it there, I prefer to sleep next to my big bro. Mom says I sleep better and longer. If I wake up in the middle of the night and Mommy's not there, I'll wake him up. Sometimes he says 'Stop pushing me!', sometimes he pats my head and says 'Shhh Mia...it's ok'.

I think he's awesome. Happy birthday Along!

ok now i'm going off to steal his birthday presents....sshhh....

Adam's 3rd birthday trip

Some photos from Adam's birthday trip.

the birthday boy. pebble birthday wish from his Daddy..

Adam's favourite character - Thomas the Tank Engine

on the fair rides

Adam making his pebble house at the beach

Mia at the soft play area

my loved ones

highlight of the trip - dora and diego live show. Happy betul Adam...