What's your parenting style?

Parenting a small baby wasn't particularly difficult. Their needs are basic - food, nappies, sleep and lots of love. We did decide early on certain things, like breastfeeding. The rest we make up as we go along. For example, sleeping arrangements. We knew we were going to sleep with our babies in the same room, but before I had Adam we bought a cot for him, fully intending to let him sleep in his cot but next to me. But then he arrived and we discovered it was best for all of us to co-sleep in the same bed. I get more sleep, he gets more sleep, all of us get to cuddle. Then Mia arrived and we wondered how we're going to fit another baby in our (relatively) small bed. We bought another cot just in case. We thought maybe one of them will sleep in there. Or maybe not. Again we followed our hearts and intuition. Now she naps in her cot, but sleeps in the bed with us. Somehow, she fits.

As the baby(ies) grow bigger, our parenting changes to adapt. It gets trickier, doesn't it? Now they need discipline, they make specific demands, they ask questions. I find myself constantly trying to find the best way to parent. No I am not particularly consistent. I didn't find a specific parenting style and stick to it. For it's very much trial and error. Yes I made lots of errors. But that way I discovered what works and what doesn't. And what works for us today, may not work for us tomorrow.

Our (current) parenting style may not be 'acceptable' to everybody else. Let's face it, a lot of our parenting decision are not exactly conventionally 'normal'. Like exclusive breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I'm asked these questions constantly:

'tak bagi air masak ke baby tu?'

'tak campur susu botol ke?'

'muat ke katil tu semua org?'

'Aren't you afraid she's going to turn out spoiled because you wear her all the time?'

'Isn't he going to be spoiled because you get him everytime he cries?'

etc

followed by some well-meaning advice. I listen and nod, but I continue to do what I know is best for my children. I am consistent when I need to be. Hopefully it will help others question their own parenting style.

I find that the best way to parent is by watching my own kids and adapting myself to their needs. There are a lot of thing we can learn from them. Our culture dictates that the parents are always right, and must always have control. But I think parents don't always know best. It is ok to question our parenting styles, it is ok to listen to our children, it is ok to tell our child 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake'.

Am I rambling? I guess what I'm trying to say is, I am coming to terms with the fact that it is ok to follow our own intuition. When your heart is full of unconditional love, it is ok to follow it.