I want to be the mother that they deserve.
I am not always gentle with them. I can lose my temper in an instant. Sometimes I get frustrated and cry or yell. Sometimes I'm selfish too. I get tired and let my husband take over. I let them watch tv. I stopped cloth diapering Adam a long time ago and only started cloth diapering Mia a week ago. I don't really enjoy cooking, especially with Adam climbing all over me and trying to grab the knife out of my hand. Sometimes I have to leave Mia by herself crying while I tend to Adam. Sometimes she fall asleep while crying and although I feel some relief, I also feel like I want to cry because I feel so sorry for her. Sometimes I have no idea how to discipline Adam. I also have no clue how to homeschool. Sometimes my home looks like chicken coop, and I just don't have the time nor the energy to clean let alone sew handmade things. I find it hard to handle the two of them outdoors by myself.
I am not (yet) the mother that they deserve.
Sometimes as I watch them sleep, I feel regret...I apologise to their soft angelic faces...but i don't think that is enough. I need to change before it is too late. Please someone show me how.