adamiamelia

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Mindful baking, mindful parenting

Yesterday morning when he woke up, the first thing Adam wanted to do was bake cookies. He bought a stegosaurus-shaped cookie cutter during our last cookie decorating session and he was excited to try it out. With my thoughts from that session still fresh in my mind, I was mindful of my own actions while baking with Adam. I wanted to let him have the freedom to do things his own way without my interfering. Unless my help is asked for. I cleared my mind of any adult worries - mess, wrong measurement, wrong spoon, 'wrong' way of doing things. So what, right?

Adam using the mixer. We've used this before but normally I would hover around like a mother hen, worried that he might lose control of it, splash the paste all over the kitchen or hurt himself. This time I let go, and I realised he already know how to use it well and safely.

This girl didn't want to miss out on all the fun :)

mixing the dough by himself

the dough is ready

this is the stegosaurus. I think it should be used with a different type cookie, the kind you roll out and cut with this cutter. Our dough was soft and sticky. But never mind, Adam figured out a way to use his cutter.

Freshly baked yummy goodness! the stegosaurus turned out humungus but Adam was so proud of them and declared they look 'just like stegosaurus in my book!'.

As adults, we have this tendency to teach. I think John Holt described it best;

Anytime that, without being invited, without being asked, we try to teach somebody else something, anytime we do that, we convey to that person, whether we know it or not, a double message. The first part of the message is: I am teaching you something important but you are not smart enough to see how important it is. Unless I teach it to you, you'd probably never bother to find out. The second message that uninvited teaching conveys to the other person is: What I 'm teaching you is so difficult that, if I didn't teach it to you, you couldn't learn it.This double message of distrust and contempt is very clearly understood by children, because they are extremely good at receiving emotional messages. It makes them furious. And why shouldn't it? All uninvited teaching contains the message of distrust and contempt. Once I realized this, I found that I had to catch myself all the time. I have to catch the words right on the edge of my tongue. The problem is that we human beings like teaching. We're a teaching animal, as well as a learning animal. We have to restrain that impulse, that habit, that need to explain things to everybody... unless we are asked " By John Holt.

8 comments:

HidayahHilman said...

Really admired your thought in parenting. Btw, the kids are super cute!!

Ida Khairani Shaklee said...

Adam, tolong ajar aunty buat stegosaurus cookies boleh?

irwanee raini said...

are you planning to home school adam right throughout primary and secondary?

I was just thinking, another way to get adam to use his brand new cookie cutter is is to imprint it on toasted bread(i can see you do hove a toaster in your kitchen). then i am sure you/he can come up with various ways to decorate/eat it.

~~bon apetite

aidafiqs adamia said...

hidayah,
thank you!

ida,
bolehhh..adam dah pandai buat cookies..

irwanee,
the minute i read your comment I mentioned it to Adam. he said 'What a BRILLIANT idea!!" then we quickly went to the kitchen to try it out! he loved them! thanks so much!!

SHiK's_DaUs's said...

Aida, love the quotation so much.... need to remind myself time by time, kadang2 kita dah terbiasa dgn how are we being shaped all this while menjadikan benda nih agak mencabar.. that is when reminder comes in :) thanks again

Puteri said...

Betul tu..I kagum on your parenting thinking. It's an eye opener.

Keep on writing more on that ya!

cuyaduya said...

i'm totally agree with adam. the cookies looks like a stegosaurus minus the sharp peak. whenever i have over size cookies, i'll call it dinosaur(coz i dont jnow their specific name). in fact i call chicken cornish in secret recipe dinosaur tau! it resembles stegosaurus shape too!

AyuKirana said...

all the best aida!!chit chatting kat umh ko bes nih!! :)

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