my babies

Monday, May 25, 2009


I think I’m weaning Adam off breastfeeding now. Sigh..just 5 more months before his 2nd birthday..I wish I didn’t have to..poor Adam..

For about 3 weeks now Adam has had new teeth coming out and has been biting me while nursing. As a result ada kesan mcm kene kelar all around the areola. It’s terribly painful everytime he feeds…oh God..I don’t think labour was as bad as this. Nighttime is the worst, he cannot sleep without his feedings and he wakes up many times during the night to feed. It’s more comfort than anything else, but if he doesn’t get it, he cannot go back to sleep. The past few weeks has just been awful…we’re totally sleep deprived. Everytime I have to feed him I scream and cry like crazy…I’m not exaggerating..this is really painful. I’ve been bitten before..but not as bad as this.

When we were in Malaysia we went to a clinic and the doctor positively told me to just wean him off the breast altogether. He gave me an injection for the pain, a lot of painkillers, antibiotics (in case there has been an infection) etc. But I was still adamant about keeping to breastfeed him..afterall, tinggal 5 months je lagi…sayangnye kalau berhenti skarang..The last time I had the same problem I was working and thus get a break from direct feeding at office hours. Eventually it healed..This time I get no breaks at all, plus we left I such a hurry that I forgot to take my pump with me so I cannot pump while we were there..

But when we got back here, the problem just got a lot worse. Makin byk luka and makin sakit and it’s not healing at all despite all the ubat from the doctor and jeli gamat I take and apply on the area. I started pumping but Adam won’t take any bottle anymore, he wants to feed directly. But he would drink fresh milk out of a mug. Finally I decided that I just have to wean him least until all the luka have healed..otherwise it’s just going to get worse and worse. So for a couple of days now adam hasn’t had any direct feeding at all. It’s been such a nightmare…what with the jetlag..Adam crying all the time needing his comfort feeds to Adam’s a little spoiled from out trip back home. Maklumlah semua org layan Adam all the time masa kat tingal Mommy and Daddy je layan Adam…we’re so exhausted and sleep the same time we still have to take him to the parks, to burn off his energy to help him sleep better and also adjust his sleeptime to get over his jetlag..Thank God for the long weekend this week. Otherwise I don’t know how I would survive this alone without hubby..Thank you bang..

Adam, I’m so sorry I have to make you quit breastfeeding..I know I promised you 2 years..but insyaAllah when this heals we can try again ok..

I think Adam’s doing better though. Last night he slept without any feeds and whenever he woke up wanting his feed, I was able to put him back to sleep just by holding him and comforting him..tak payah wake up the whole house sampai pagi as usual…

To all breastfeeding and co-sleeping mom, how do you guys wean off your child after the 2 years has passed? Especially night feeds? How to put them to sleep without their usual feed?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

We're back

Just arrived back in London early this morning.

Thank you everyone for all the kind comments, i really appreciate it.

This photo was taken in 2005, in Sheffield during my graduation. My father already suffered from cancer and had lost a lot of weight and lost some of his sense of balance. But he was so happy and enthusiastic during this trip, as if he wasn't even ill. We went all over the UK - his old Uni in Manchester, Leeds, Scotland. He loved it here. He often talked about coming back when he gets better..But i guess he's gone to a better place. I believe he is free there, able to talk, to walk, to eat...instead of suffering here..that's the only thought that keeps me sane.

Abah, I love and miss you so much...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


My abah...just passed away.

Can someone tell me how i should react, what i should do?

Hubby's arranged for us to go back home. But i'm not even sure what i should be doing when we get there..he's already gone...

Pls sedekah Al-Fatihah for him...tq..

Monday, May 4, 2009

Anniversary Trip

The last time we were in Venice, we were on a budget europe tour - Kelana Konvoy with our friends. We were not a couple yet, but about to fall in love :) Venice means a lot to us. I've always thought it's the most romantic city in the world..maybe because of the memories we had there..

Here we are, 6 years later. He definitely chose the best place to go for our anniversary. Thank you bang :) He's a romantic at heart, really..hehe..thank you so much!

We went to Murano island too this time, popular for Murano glass. The jewelery made from Murano glass are absolutely stunning..

Adam had the most fun at S.Marco square, where there are a lot of friendly pidgeons. He fed them biscuits..byk gak biscuits yg masuk mulut adam sendiri..hehe..dia tak takut langsung nak pegang birds..

From Venice, we took the midnight train to Rome. Oh God, Rome do i describe it..majestic, yes. All the buildings are old and beautiful, and so well preserved, even the shops. These buildings are made to last. You cannot help but admire the powerful civilisation that once was here..

We had a terrific time there as you can see..hehe..

May our love last forever...insyaAllah...


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